Marrying Your Happiness


I looked at the groom, standing at the altar, anticipating the crucial cue – the arrival of the bridal party. I wonder what was running through the groom’s – all grooms’ – mind at that moment. I suspect they will ponder, “Do I really want to get married?” and “Do I really want to get married to her?”

When the door finally opens for the bride to take the first step towards the altar and when the whole congregation stands to applaud, the groom should have answers to those million dollar questions. Unfortunately, there is no phone-a-friend option. Once her hand is in his, the qualms should have evaporated; hopefully, there is no residual doubt that may haunt him. After all, marriages are not governed by the Walmart policy: if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

I read an article in passing and there was a mention that “marriage isn’t for you”. Apparently, one does not marry to make oneself happy but to make someone else happy. So rather than thinking whether you will become happier after marrying the bride at your wedding, consider if she is the one you want to make her happy every day, after the wedding.

While I grasp the concepts of marriage, I never quite see that as my thing – my calling. Perhaps I have not found the right partner that I want to walk life’s journey together. But I am fine and happily walking, climbing, crawling and flying solo. So what’s wrong with me? Maybe, there is nothing wrong with me.

I have attended my fair share of wedding receptions and I am glad the invitations have slowed down. (Unfortunately, the baby shower invitations are starting to pour; but that is another story for another day.) A lot of time I see that it was really about the wedding; ironically, not the marriage. The preparations for that one big day had consumed the couple’s enormous amount of time, resources and emotions. I wonder what could have remained after.  I suppose – and ideally – all that is to create a void so as to receive the joy that come happily ever after.

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One response to “Marrying Your Happiness”

  1. Or maybe it just isn’t always about two people perpetually trying to make each other happy. Maybe it is more of a partnership. Two people who have the same goal, same Lord… and companionship is that icing on the cake.

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